Ma Maven | The Mom Without A Manual

It’s a Monday morning and I just dropped my oldest son off at school. After the morning drop, I would usually run right home to be with my babies and husband, lately, I find myself not being in much of a hurry. I woke up this morning, at 2 am to be exact, rushing to the nursery to take care of my teething toddler. He didn’t care that I had to get up at 6 to drop his older off brother to school along with birthday cupcakes and goody bags for him and his classmates to celebrate his recent birthday.

After the hustle and bustle of the morning, I decided to spend my free time skating alone in the park. Once I was done skating I had a moment to rest. and began think about the numerous amount of things I took for granted before starting a family.

It’s as though I’ve taken two long blinks and 10 years have literally flown by. I’ve been speeding through life and now that I’m in my 30’s I am finally slowing down. I’m not trying to get to the next task, make it to the next event, or even plan the next activity. I am no longer 21 in beauty school, trying to acquire a license, and build up my clientele. Now a few days shy of my 31st birthday with three kids and a husband, have my dreams come true, or have my eyes been closed for the last decade?

And seriously, where did the time go?

I’m glad to have had the time to think about things I probably wouldn’t have thought about before. As a stay-at-home mom or just a parent in general sometimes you fall into FOMO, the fear of missing out, because you’re with the kids all the time and you see your peers running to {insert all-expense-paid luxury vacation here} every time you open up social media.

Today’s skate session reminded me of my desire to stop and come up for air, look around to see where I am, and who I’m bringing along on the journey. Even as I sit here watching the clouds majestically dance by, I realized that I wouldn’t want to do anything differently. But as for my future, I would love to explore my hobbies more, go to bed early, create a solid self-care regimen, and periodically stop to take a breather.

I believe by doing these activities regularly, or when there is time, I can rejoin my family from a place of solitude. I would hope that even a little bit of time spent away would give me the chance to come back as a better version of myself. Willing and ready to listen to my toddlers speak gibberish 18 hours a day or encourage my 9-year-old’s confidence in reading.

Do the changes I want to make in my near future fall under the instagramable “Black Girl Luxury” genre? No, no it does not. However, it’s what makes me feel like a well-rounded individual and not just a wife and a mom. Don’t get it twisted I love operating in those roles but as I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post, I’m more than that.