Ma Maven | The Mom Without A Manual

There’s no such thing as a sick day when you are a mom, especially for a stay-at-home mom. It seems in my latest YouTube video I shared some changes that were coming to our family dynamic this summer but before I could get anywhere there was one little hiccup. I had mentioned how my kids and I have been sick on and off for the last month, or so it felt. This time around something else had hit our house. It was actually the coronavirus!

When I took an at-home test disbelief overcame me when I saw the results.

I actually took two tests and went to the doctor to take another for extra confirmation. Now I’m sitting at home with my kids not only sick but going through the motions of not feeling well. Though I’m feeling the worst out of everyone here with my less than favorable symptoms one thing still remains the same… I’m still on mom duty.

Different ones in my family have told me to go lay down to rest and to take it easy on myself. It’s actually been really hard to do so because there are children who need me for everything right now. I’m not going to lie, I was taken aback a bit when I was told, “Don’t be a super mom”. As if I can turn to one of my many responsibilities in the house and explain to them how ill I’m feeling. I would love to call off of work for a week or two just for vacation purposes or have a morning to sleep in because I’ve tossed and turned all night due to aging aches. Somehow there is this nagging voice reminding me when my children get up at the butt crack of dawn there is no sense in expressing to them that I’m a little weak today. That I need to do away with my hopes of gaining their full understanding that I’m not in tip-top shape.

“Please hold all diaper changes until further notice. Mommy doesn’t feel well.”.

The moment I enter the room they’ll look at me with those big bright eyes and use their growing voices to express to me their demands. It’s nice to have a spouse who helps out however being as though he’s not a stay-at-home dad, although my goal is to retire him someday, when he’s away from home it all falls back on me: the diapers, the meals, the cat, the everything. There’s no real “clocking out” when you’re a mom, and that reality is settling with me a little differently now that I’m the ‘needy’ one. Not that I did know the level of responsibility that I carry before, but it’s a little different when raising multiple children.

When I was a working mom of one I looked forward to days when I could be at home with ample availability to care for my house and children. Now that I’ve been doing so for the last three years, getting a break from the ongoing neediness of children is actually something I look forward to.

I never thought I would feel this way once I stopped working but right now as I’m writing this blog post, my children are in the playroom screaming their heads off, waiting for me to tend to their needs. I guarantee you, there’s nothing really wrong with them as I can see them clearly on the baby monitor and being as though I was just in there promising them fresh bottles of milk. They’re so used to having a live-in maid/servant that they’re conditioned to know that when they cry mommy will be there.

On one of my sick days, while attempting to lay in my bed, I came across a video detailing a list of celebrities who utilizes the services of a nanny. Beyoncé is one of the few mentioned. The video laid out how she manages to raise three children, run her multi-million dollar empire and rule the world. We’ve all heard the saying, “We have the same 24 hours as Beyonce”, which in so many ways is unfair to say to an average woman because she has help! The superstar has three nannies per child to feed them, keep them safe, and entertain them. You might say “with three nannies what do they need a mother for?”, I think it’s a lot more work managing people to manage your lifestyle. You want things done a certain way and you have to make sure the task is being done properly. I did always wonder how she could accomplish so much but it comes as no surprise that without a team essentially nothing can get done.

No, I might not run to get nine nannies caring for my children, which is my personal preference however, it would be nice to not have to do it all. I see the value in obtaining assistance. I may look into hiring cooking and cleaning services one day down the road. I can see it now, having my feet up sipping a gourmet strawberry smoothie while someone comes in to clean and organize my home. And not only on sick days.