Ma Maven | The Mom Without A Manual

It’s been a little over six months since I made my return to work and for some reason, I’ve been hesitant to share how my experience has been. Come to think of it I might be a bit embarrassed now that my “Put me in the game, coach!” attitude is starting to subside. All the while the overworked and sleep-deprived 32-year-old mom of three me is shouting, “Girl, whose bright idea was this?!”.

Oh yeah, it was mine.

Although I never entirely stopped working, doing side gigs here and there, returning to work as a hairstylist wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped it would be.

I’ve quickly forgotten how in order to make a living wage in the hair industry you must morph into a walking billboard for beauty. Passing out your business cards with yesterday’s snack-stained sweatpants and whatever your hair is doing while attempting to talk to people with intelligible conversation is not the move if you want to make money. And then there’s my self-confidence which has somehow been left behind in my pre-married 20s. We will explore this more in a future blog post. Once I muster up the guts and explain to my potential patrons that the $18,000 in beauty school debt and years of salon experience under my belt should aid me enough to service them, I am able to make enough of a profit to say pushing past my comfort level is worth it.

The point I’m trying to make should be obvious by now but if not I’ll just say it. NOW I truly realize how much of myself I’ve left behind prior to working. My stay-at-home days had been filled with bettering my health and raising a family. Not that leaving the old me behind to become the HMIC (Head Mom In Charge), is a bad thing. However, up until I went back to work I had been in denial about my entire existence being about my family. My days of skating alone in the park, and that one solo trip to Ikea last year isn’t enough for me to feel like I’m a real person with purpose without my children being attached to my hip.

#MOMLIFE can be all playground fun and play-date games until you realize you have no autonomy outside of being a mom and at times even a wife. In the past, a younger me believed that life as a stay-at-home wife and mother would be easier because my days would be full of keeping the house together and raising wholesome children. Which is a full-time job in itself but it’s not even close to being easy. Still, I tried to enjoy the unpaid labor most days.

As you could probably imagine, in the weeks leading up to my first day in the salon I was a ball of emotions. I just wanted someone to offer me a glimpse into what the future would look like for my family and I. Or at least tell me if I would regret working since I had been accustomed to not regularly having anywhere to really be at a set time or date.

Spoiler alert- nobody came to tell me my future.

Despite my spirit guide not appearing in my daydreams to tell me how this season of my life would pan out, and to stay motivated about work I constantly find myself revisiting my WHY. Why am I away from my family and here working? By no means am I saying that I’m going to put down my salon apron right now, however, I do see that I am facing a new challenge on this journey. Actually several.

Are you a stay-at-home mom that has considered returning to work? Let me know!