Ma Maven | The Mom Without A Manual

It’s official! I’m now the proud mom of a middle schooler. There’s a lot to unpack in that statement, reflecting a significant milestone in both my life and motherhood. It’s a reminder that my baby is growing up. I realized this milestone wasn’t sudden; it gradually unfolded as he began managing tasks independently, like choosing his outfits to wear and packing his lunches. Throughout this past year, he would remind me, “Mommy, I’m an older brother now, so I can make my own lunches.” It meant a lot to him to prepare for the next day each night.

The transition to middle school feels like it happened in the blink of an eye. While there were signs leading up to this, the reality is hitting harder now. After his elementary school graduation, I asked if he was looking forward to middle school. His answer was yes, but he also admitted to his fears. Fears I didn’t realize were plaguing his heart and mind. He shared his apprehension about bullying and the increased workload, among other things. His readiness to voice these concerns surprised me.

In response, I reassured him that everything would be okay. This exchange during our ride home reminded me that I can’t shield him from all of life’s challenges. Even if he doesn’t experience these issues firsthand, I can’t prevent him from worrying. I feel that my role is to address his fears and support him through them the only way a mom can.

While thinking about our summer plans I initially focused on creating a small summer curriculum to focus on strengthening some skills, it became clear that social and emotional preparation is just as important. If not more. Middle school isn’t just about what you learn in the classroom; it’s also about navigating social pressures, finding your friend group, and developing a sense of identity. I remember my own middle school days, where social dynamics seemed more critical than academics. I became hyperfocused on who was popular, what we wore, and how I looked. Finding my friend group was a significant part of my experience, even though I didn’t quite fit in as I hoped.

My son’s middle school journey will undoubtedly differ from mine. Besides the generational gap, he’s attending a private middle school, while I went to a public one. Social dynamics might be similar at their core, but the way they play out and are handled by those involved could vary.

As our family prepares for this new chapter, I plan to engage in open conversations with my son, listening to his concerns and praying together. Additionally, I want to be open to helping him cultivate his sense of style. Earlier this year, he asked me to start his loc journey. My husband and I have had locs for over seven years, and while friends and family often asked if we’d start our children’s locs, we wanted it to be their choice. So when my son made this request, I obliged. To me, this signified his growing interest in his appearance and identity.

As his mom I still have some influence in his life before peer opinions start to dominate, right? As he grows, he’ll inevitably question the beliefs and advice we’ve given him. This is a healthy part of growing up. I’m aware that, as a millennial parent, I sometimes joke around, and he’ll eventually see through my humor and recognize that I’m figuring things out too. I’m no maven in motherhood; I’m learning as I go, guided by faith and hope for the best for my children.

So here we are, on the brink of a new adventure. Come August 2024, I’ll be dropping my growing boy off to embark on the journey of middle school. I’m praying for a smooth ride and hoping we’ll be as prepared as possible to face the challenges ahead.

As I embark on this journey into middle school parenting, I’m curious to hear from others who have walked this path. What were some of your biggest surprises or challenges when your child started middle school? How did you help them navigate their social and academic transitions?